Maladies of working wife

     I am like those millions of working wives who are struggling with household chores.Some of us like to constantly struggle and keep busy and thrive on it.I myself like lot of self time to do things i like.This includes reading, blogging ,just gazing at thin air!But when you are unmarried and staying with parents or even alone, things are obviously easy.You have not much household responsibility.But marriage brings in added work and then we start using phrases like "work life balance" and even random office managers give lectures on how to do it.I think in my mind, that them being male doesn't make them right people to give pearls of wisdom.Thankfully the husband's living alone from years helped as he is quite self sufficient and helps out a bit.
     I think i am able to conquer it to some extent by easily outsourcing some of the work.I have a maid to clean and wash vessels every morning.I am able to cook some breakfast, since both of don't like to carry lunch to office(neither do i have time to cook to be truthful) its fine.Then comes in small things like investing in a washing machine which washes everything! I know some people who wash most of their clothes by their wonderful hands as "washing machine mai kharab ho jaega".Well, we have technology where everything can be washed, maybe in future washing machine can wash human :P.Then why not invest in a machine which has all sort of modes as in it.Come on people time is precious than those clothes to try to wash by hand! And then do a expensive manicure to beautify your hands!It doesn't make sense!There are lot of cheap gadgets which save quite a bit of time.I got this handheld chopper and boy, it saves my tears and time!
    Then i just love e-commerce boom.Now you can buy anything online! and that too with hardly any delivery charges! There is bigbasket where i do my grocery shopping for the month and get cool discounts and actually end up saving money! Then there is Grofers mobile app which you can use to do immediate grocery shopping .You even get cut vegetables cheaper than roadside uncut veggies online!Needless to say it saves quite a bit of time.And i am not struggling with "no time" syndrome yet.Though my workload has increased in office.
    Have you guys seen the rotimatic gadget? Its amazing, i can't wait to get my hands on it! As making chapati is nobodies favorite work and quite time consuming.I just love technology.Also now all type of bills, payments can be made online.It saves lot of time !Also, all the online clothes shopping available now is mind-boggling.Though i am yet to become a fan of it.Life is too short to get caught in chores, use technology, outsource..live it!

umm..Personification of great expectations.

     I am choosing a very controversial topic of "Gifts" today.Its a custom prevalent from ancient times when the king used to gift people in his kingdom when he was happy with them.Then there is section where gift serves as bribe.Then there are those special gifts which someone gives you unexpectedly.No, the hikes in office are expected ,which we never get ;)
      In childhood our parents used to give us these wonderful surprises as these most wanted toys which they got to know after observing us.They put in that effort to know what we wanted, and its easy to find that for a child.As we grow up and become complex , we left our parents perplexed with our choices. They were often wrong in their observances and they decided to be blunt and ask us to choose the gift and if viable they would get that for us.Then came a time we started working and buying them gifts, which left them even more baffled what to give you.Now they gave you cash to be safest .Now, this evolution of gifts from joyful little trinkets to a topic which gives you heart burn is probably as complicated as Darwin's theory of evolution you would think.But, its not really that complex its just that now India's inflation and growth makes life easy and tough both.As we moved from hard copy of kodak moments to instagram and facebook moments everyone wants to outdo the other.That leaves everyone floundering to choose gifts and surprise you.Then came the gift voucher culture and people felt good that atleast its little personal than the hard cash.Then evolved the gift portal which allowed you to choose things online and just send to anyone anywhere.This was boon to people separated by distance.
     Now, you would be wondering what is the whole thing leading to.Since. my birthday just went i was thinking about the selfie gift! Now what the heck is that "it is something you want and are hesitating as you are unclear".I choose something every year and gift it to myself.Its something i want for myself, and would never want to hold my parents or anyone else responsible for it.It could be a travel somewhere , a silly moment, a book , a experience.Its upto us to make life surprising and don't have a list of expectation.My parents as usual were " what do you want" buy it from our side.Now, why would a self sufficient person like me offload my wants to them is my take.They as usual were perplexed by my no comments attitude and gave me some cash ;).
     Then comes in a parameter of spousal gifting, whew that's the most stressful of all.You are expected to be innovative like Edison as you have consistent group of people asking " aur kya diya ya mila".Then some actually upload the photo on FB or instagram it with few hearts and lines from DDLJ or somewhere.(you get my meaning).We like it and uh and ah about it.But, some of us rethink and compare.(comeon, its human , unless you are a saint).If the last year one was head turning now next year you are constantly thinking to out-beat the last one.In my case my husband sent me a handbag bigger than last year (have to hand it to him on being consistent).My instant reaction should have been joy, but it was actually a count to one to ten (what to say , i am human).The poor guy was just trying to please me and here i was getting pissed.But, reason wasn't the big bag but the unoriginal idea.Now, you to understand that he couldnt have read my mind and imagined what i wanted :D. This is a small example and causes high amount of stress around any celebration.I myself used to personalize gifts and present to family and friends.Now, since life got busy past few years.I too just use online portals to gift of just pass on some cash .We are losing small joyful moments with the amount of stress these gifting causes.The stress is even higher when its not appreciated.
         The era of online is here, life is online.You can now gift a experience online.Send anything to anyone and anywhere.But, we need to let go ourselves once in a while and indulge on the thing we want and stop expecting it as a gift. There is no point getting upset about things which don't matter.I cannot completely disregard the pleasure surprise and unexpected gifts give.But, move on and buy it yourself!But, yeah i still see the big bag in my nightmare:P.It would be truthful to say that i am a tad bit peeved :P.
        I have decided to give cash wherever possible to relatives as gift, seems like personalization doesnot mean it will be always liked.I have neither the energy nor the patience to choose when some of them rarely even call.Its quite freeing!

Guilt?

         Do you ever feel the guilt of owning a expensive handbag when you pass with it around the road and find few homeless people sitting? That guilt you see a helpless beggar on the street.The gut reaction is a little fear mixed with some guilt.Maybe its not something everyone feels.But as you are human with emotions you are expected to feel something.But why guilt and just not pity? And funnily when we are not real rich of the world like Ambanis and tatas and the Birlas! You worked for it and you spent it.So, why bother about some homeless man who is hungry.But, i always go on instant recall mode and see the huge restaurant bill of thousands where that man could have funded his whole months grocery supply.Or that really expensive branded shirt which could have clothed his whole family.
       I am a nobody who cannot really bring poverty to end.But a conscious choice to help someone in need is something all of have in common.Some of us volunteer their time and some their money.Which leads to a rich mans philanthropic deed which becomes a front page news.But , getting back to the topic of guilt of having unnecessary things and useless baggage of guilt is something maybe we have as its also part of Indian legacy to be compassionate.Its not everyone who feels this,but certainly a majority of people feel it.That is why we have so many blogs and articles about poverty.So, i know these people who genuinely work towards the betterment of society.But, the question here is not about if you invest time and money just out of guilt?
     I would make controversial statement that many do gooders do it for the fame or to suppress the  guilt they are feeling.But i don't know what made me type out this today.Well, living in Delhi i come across many homeless people  and it kinda suppresses my weekend shopping binge.Life is to live , i agree, but won't it be sweeter if you give a bit?