Dealing with the meh moments

“Don’t let today’s disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow’s dreams.” ~Unknown

We are constantly disappointed in life, be it work or personal.Its natural as we are human with emotions.We have our own thresholds of how much can we deal with disappointments.The main cause of disappointments is unrealistic expectations.I think i already wrote about the zero expectation theory ,which some might have already read.But, unless we are dead or zombies there is no such thing like zero expectation.(oh yeah, i like contradicting myself)
   I just observed a friends feed on facebook, a latest addition of a baby boy with cute photos.There were lot of comments etc..where on some she asked back about how few of her friends were.In one case a friend revealed as a doctor practicing in some small town in India, has her own hospital.Now my friends comments as "wow" and congratulated back .The doctor then spoils it by being tired and fed up and how their school days were best.Now, my friend cleverly closed it by saying the doctor needs a break.Now, my friend who posted lives a dream life of being in the US with a 2 kid family and working as well.In social media ,thats the dream life.Maybe the doctor envied and lashed out with her own problems.But, the crux here was comparison.Her being a doctor with all her education and in a small town, added to that the stress of actual doctors work, life is sure going to be hectic.
   Personally, i would not say comparing is bad, but people should know their own reality.You can't compete with rich guys who are rich by the virtue of ancestry .Rather they focus on getting there by hardwork.I see people complaining about their jobs, well always,(we all do sometimes).Why not change it?
   There is this other theory of reaching personal excellence due to disappointments.
“One’s best success comes after their greatest disappointments.” – Henry Ward Beecher
     But, disappointments cause heart burn and heart breaks, at that time nobody thinks of greater good or bigger learning.It all works only later when we reflect back and try to find silver linings in our disappointments.But, life goes on.Rather than becoming bitter with failure or heart break we should focus on getting over.There is no magic solution to it, we all have to find it ourselves.Personally i find getting over broken trust most difficult.Its one of the biggest hurdles in life dealing with liars who break your trust.But, it life it happens, we will figure out eventually.

Maladies of working wife

     I am like those millions of working wives who are struggling with household chores.Some of us like to constantly struggle and keep busy and thrive on it.I myself like lot of self time to do things i like.This includes reading, blogging ,just gazing at thin air!But when you are unmarried and staying with parents or even alone, things are obviously easy.You have not much household responsibility.But marriage brings in added work and then we start using phrases like "work life balance" and even random office managers give lectures on how to do it.I think in my mind, that them being male doesn't make them right people to give pearls of wisdom.Thankfully the husband's living alone from years helped as he is quite self sufficient and helps out a bit.
     I think i am able to conquer it to some extent by easily outsourcing some of the work.I have a maid to clean and wash vessels every morning.I am able to cook some breakfast, since both of don't like to carry lunch to office(neither do i have time to cook to be truthful) its fine.Then comes in small things like investing in a washing machine which washes everything! I know some people who wash most of their clothes by their wonderful hands as "washing machine mai kharab ho jaega".Well, we have technology where everything can be washed, maybe in future washing machine can wash human :P.Then why not invest in a machine which has all sort of modes as in it.Come on people time is precious than those clothes to try to wash by hand! And then do a expensive manicure to beautify your hands!It doesn't make sense!There are lot of cheap gadgets which save quite a bit of time.I got this handheld chopper and boy, it saves my tears and time!
    Then i just love e-commerce boom.Now you can buy anything online! and that too with hardly any delivery charges! There is bigbasket where i do my grocery shopping for the month and get cool discounts and actually end up saving money! Then there is Grofers mobile app which you can use to do immediate grocery shopping .You even get cut vegetables cheaper than roadside uncut veggies online!Needless to say it saves quite a bit of time.And i am not struggling with "no time" syndrome yet.Though my workload has increased in office.
    Have you guys seen the rotimatic gadget? Its amazing, i can't wait to get my hands on it! As making chapati is nobodies favorite work and quite time consuming.I just love technology.Also now all type of bills, payments can be made online.It saves lot of time !Also, all the online clothes shopping available now is mind-boggling.Though i am yet to become a fan of it.Life is too short to get caught in chores, use technology, outsource..live it!

umm..Personification of great expectations.

     I am choosing a very controversial topic of "Gifts" today.Its a custom prevalent from ancient times when the king used to gift people in his kingdom when he was happy with them.Then there is section where gift serves as bribe.Then there are those special gifts which someone gives you unexpectedly.No, the hikes in office are expected ,which we never get ;)
      In childhood our parents used to give us these wonderful surprises as these most wanted toys which they got to know after observing us.They put in that effort to know what we wanted, and its easy to find that for a child.As we grow up and become complex , we left our parents perplexed with our choices. They were often wrong in their observances and they decided to be blunt and ask us to choose the gift and if viable they would get that for us.Then came a time we started working and buying them gifts, which left them even more baffled what to give you.Now they gave you cash to be safest .Now, this evolution of gifts from joyful little trinkets to a topic which gives you heart burn is probably as complicated as Darwin's theory of evolution you would think.But, its not really that complex its just that now India's inflation and growth makes life easy and tough both.As we moved from hard copy of kodak moments to instagram and facebook moments everyone wants to outdo the other.That leaves everyone floundering to choose gifts and surprise you.Then came the gift voucher culture and people felt good that atleast its little personal than the hard cash.Then evolved the gift portal which allowed you to choose things online and just send to anyone anywhere.This was boon to people separated by distance.
     Now, you would be wondering what is the whole thing leading to.Since. my birthday just went i was thinking about the selfie gift! Now what the heck is that "it is something you want and are hesitating as you are unclear".I choose something every year and gift it to myself.Its something i want for myself, and would never want to hold my parents or anyone else responsible for it.It could be a travel somewhere , a silly moment, a book , a experience.Its upto us to make life surprising and don't have a list of expectation.My parents as usual were " what do you want" buy it from our side.Now, why would a self sufficient person like me offload my wants to them is my take.They as usual were perplexed by my no comments attitude and gave me some cash ;).
     Then comes in a parameter of spousal gifting, whew that's the most stressful of all.You are expected to be innovative like Edison as you have consistent group of people asking " aur kya diya ya mila".Then some actually upload the photo on FB or instagram it with few hearts and lines from DDLJ or somewhere.(you get my meaning).We like it and uh and ah about it.But, some of us rethink and compare.(comeon, its human , unless you are a saint).If the last year one was head turning now next year you are constantly thinking to out-beat the last one.In my case my husband sent me a handbag bigger than last year (have to hand it to him on being consistent).My instant reaction should have been joy, but it was actually a count to one to ten (what to say , i am human).The poor guy was just trying to please me and here i was getting pissed.But, reason wasn't the big bag but the unoriginal idea.Now, you to understand that he couldnt have read my mind and imagined what i wanted :D. This is a small example and causes high amount of stress around any celebration.I myself used to personalize gifts and present to family and friends.Now, since life got busy past few years.I too just use online portals to gift of just pass on some cash .We are losing small joyful moments with the amount of stress these gifting causes.The stress is even higher when its not appreciated.
         The era of online is here, life is online.You can now gift a experience online.Send anything to anyone and anywhere.But, we need to let go ourselves once in a while and indulge on the thing we want and stop expecting it as a gift. There is no point getting upset about things which don't matter.I cannot completely disregard the pleasure surprise and unexpected gifts give.But, move on and buy it yourself!But, yeah i still see the big bag in my nightmare:P.It would be truthful to say that i am a tad bit peeved :P.
        I have decided to give cash wherever possible to relatives as gift, seems like personalization doesnot mean it will be always liked.I have neither the energy nor the patience to choose when some of them rarely even call.Its quite freeing!