Closure

      We all get into sticky situations , be it personal or professional and sometimes things don't end well and we miss the sense of closure from life.Well, why do you think people run away from life, its due to sense of missing something.We run after something which we can never get and we never value what we have? This inevitably creates a sense of emptiness which leads to people taking extreme steps.Humans are emotional beings and we always need that sense of well being for emotional stability.Disturb that and person evolves into totally somebody else. They turn from nice people to a dracula overnight.They hurl bad language, use sentimental dialogues and voila life turns into a bollywood movie.
     Closure is important as it removes the underlying pain.Also it brings in a well meaning end to things which cause pain.Otherwise the wondering of what if remains throughout life.We always imagine and create scenarios which probably don't even mean anything,but become our everyday demons.The main problem nowadays is that people think that discussing issues makes them weak, not it doesn't , it rather makes a person strong enough to endure how it is meant to be.The what if's, if buts of life are just dragging fun, reality from life.
     I think the main ingredient for closure is a sane discussion with no drama.Bring out things as they are .Wouldn't you want a thorn removed in one shot rather than try to heal it with magic and things that don't work.And mainly people need to understand that accepting mistake is not a sign of weakness, rather a sign of developing strength.But, its rare to see people who really feel that.I have seen cases where people fight for petty issues and they become family feuds and they turn into ugly battles.Is it insane to think we have one life , we rather live it up than live it down for revenge and petty meaningless emotions which are to be relegated to has beens.
    The peace which people feel i have heard after closure is like rebirth of faith and all things good, so i think a sane no holds barred discussion is better than years of feud and pointless back and forth imaginary hurt egos.It brings in an emotional healing and peace to life.I just thought of this word due to some reason and just expanded on it.But, i think it makes sense in a vague sorta way.

Leh~~ timeout

          Why does Leh mean timeout? My phone network, data , wifi nothing worked.So, it was 3  days of break from the world.I had booked Leh air tickets in March as i recalled the long weekends in September.Also, just for 3 days bothered me as one day goes in getting acclimatize to the low oxygen and high altitude of Leh.As  per original plan i wanted to cover Nubra valley and Pangong lake in 3 days ,but people were right that a day goes in just relaxing.If you tend to not take it easy ,then you are just spoiling rest of your holiday.The flight from Delhi to Leh was a short one of just about an hour long.It was quite a shock to go from sweltering heat of Delhi to cool air of Leh.
   I just wished that it was a slightly longer trip.As day one we just went to Shanti Stupa, Leh palace and local market.Then also went to the famed German bakery which turned out to be nothing exciting to rave about.I just bought a yak wool small stole, i am not particularly excited by pashmina so i didn't really buy one.Though was too tired on day one, dinner was room service.We then booked a taxi for Pangong lake for the next day.
        Day two was a serene ride though the Himalayas to the lake.The lake "Pangong Tso" means long enchanted narrow lake.The lake itself is huge with spanning 604KM square.About 60% of it is with Tibet (China).Thus there is always some defense patrolling the lake.The drive itself is a long one of about 5 hours.We also passed through Changla pass on the way, we had tea at the tiny tea house there.The road itself was not great, it was muddy and snowy in bits and pieces.The drive with no access to outside world with mountains for company makes you think of life and its problems and meaningless, also makes you wonder on the fragile nature of life. I also felt proud of the defense personnel who stayed there for months for protecting us,sometimes in inhabitable conditions .The driver had put some soothing Tibetian music , Om mani Padme Hum stayed in my mind and i downloaded it as its very soothing.The Himalayas are there protecting us from the cold winds from Siberia and from China.Almost every household in Leh has someone in the defense.Ladakhis are also very strong and can survive without food for 3 days as per our driver.I could feel the pent up problems in life just vanishing in the cold Himalayan air.The road trip was amazing, i could stop wild horses, Mormon and some chinese donkeys.The view of lake was something which will stay in my mind for quite sometime.Just think of the strong Himalayas, whenever there are problems in life and you will feel better.I had heard from people about the serene nature of mountains and first time experienced it.Maybe i didnot really appreciate it fully as i had an unsettled stomach afterwards on the driveback.I  would suggest to avoid eating at cafes if you can't stomach a rough ride, as the road tends to get quite rough on few places.
      Third was a true holiday feeling with waking up late and just going around Leh market.The market was almost closed as it was off season.We managed to buy few more shawls for relatives.Though there isn't much choice for male shopping much to my husband's disappointment.I did buy some junk earrings which were made of Tibetian coins as per the seller.I might have bought them as they reminded me of legacy of Tibet where they are still refugees .We had dinner at a place called Chaska Maska which had decent food.Basically you can try various eatouts if you are staying long, else stick to basics.
      And the trip ended soon, but i will someday maybe revisit Leh when i have more time.I can understand the attraction the foreign visitors feel that they keep visiting year after year.My hankering with Europe still exists ,but i feel i have still barely skimmed the surface of beautiful India.I think the Himalayan beauty is no less than the Swiss alps.

The soothing music my takeway :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HGcIUEfbIU

Opposite or mirror image?

       We often come across people who are radically different than us.We see them and get this amazing feeling of thank god, i am not like that.But, in our mind we wonder if we were to be like that then where will i be? Here i meant different in beliefs and thinking and not to be related to things like money, education, houses etc..Its the belief about what matters in life? I often meet / come to know about people who have a belief system and values very very away from mine.
      For example i heard of a family of lawyers who values money over anything and is probably corrupt or too good lawyers , either ways very rich probably.They married their daughters based on the money the groom had or his big car/house/status.Basically the value system is money the person has , the more you have the more deserving you are of their daughter.Trust me the daughters were all below borderline good looking in the Indian context to set the record(sound's racist, but lets be typical Indian's).But, they had this inherent belief that money gets all good things in life.In their case a even bigger status.Since, all this is hearsay, some of it can be biased .  Their daughter did not consider a good man who loved her as he was broke but strung him along for years.But he cared about her a lot, based of few things i saw/heard.Then he moved on got himself engaged and the girl suddenly wants to marry him.Its the classic case of i don't want you and nobody else can have you. Obviously it makes you wonder what truly matters, i am no saint to tell money doesn't matter, it does help in leading a carefree life.But, not to the extent of forming relationships based on that. Obviously, the guy hung around a long time before moving on from her, makes you wonder is love truly blind to people's faults? or is that the definition of true love, where nothing matter except acceptance in any circumstance.,
     This germinated an idea of my novel.A case where you see blind love or maybe a hung over love maybe?  How two people with very different belief systems ended up loving same person.How you think that people like good values , but in a real context do they really matter? So, this means i am trying to talk about personalities who are in opposite spectrum's in their belief system.Maybe it depends on the upbringing ,your current situation etc...But, one does wonder about the high values we talk about are really helpful or they are just preaching of a saint and unrelated in real life.I am still trying to move forward on my novel, but somehow seem to stuck with writers block on chapter one itself.

Something something life

         I was just hit by inspiration last week , to start my novel and like all things exciting, i started it with great excitement and it proceeded well for a few pages and then as usual tapered to slowdown.I guess the new city with less time to waste has made me more in sync with inner me.You get more time to think when you have nothing to do .Its so hot in Delhi that I end up staying in , or just end up in the mall, malls in NCR are kinda weird with crowd like they have come to a mela.
        I also think i jinxed my work life balance by blogging nicely about it.Suddenly i was hit by a wave of work and i was struggling to meet the work life balance.Now i have outsourced cooking as i think i don't have the time, also i donot want to try to do it all.I like my space and i need time for myself.I think women tend to try to become superwomen and this burn themselves out.I think i work equally or harder than my male counterparts.So, i think i deserve the luxury they do , where they have wives pampering them.In my case i am pampering myself by outsourcing cooking etc..I guess women need to remember to make time for themselves as they tend to emulate some olden days relic of history where women just existed to be subservient .
      I just completed a much needed office report at 12am! And i am unable to sleep now, i hate report work, but comes with territory.I thought of adding a few pages to my novel, but ending up writing meaningless stuff on the blog.

Divine justice

      I was recently at my In laws place and had long gossip session with SIL.We were discussing some deep stuff and sometimes random stuff.One thing which stuck to my mind was our mutual agreement on divine justice.I usually don't keep grudges or believe in long battles of revenge as i usually believe in divine justice.It means what goes around ,comes around.And i was pleasantly surprised that SIL believed in it, as i feel such people are easy to gel with.
   It actually quite peaceful to have such a belief.It makes easy to move on from tough situations where you feel like bollywood wala "Badla" feeling.We just let it go and say "he/she will have to meet the maker one day".Personally i rarely keep a grudge, as its quite draining and waste of time.Just let it go and someday somewhere a liar will be caught, a murderer will be killed, you get my gist.
    I don't understand the honor killings, people constantly fighting and outbeating each other for no reason.It all just makes no sense.We all know how much law supports criminals.Cases where we all know who is to blame end up closed from lack of evidence.I always hated lawyers as they are mostly corrupt.I just hope the families who don't get justice believe in "divine justice" as they go through a lot of grief and tragedy. Atleast the concept of divine justice in itself is very calming to mind.But, not many really believe in it.To be clear this concept has nothing to do with rebirth and all that crap, just that in the same life someday somewhere the person will get what he deserves.So, better keep doing good in life :)